twinfinite wisdom

my children are the reason i get up in the morning… and the reason i drink at night

It’s not me, it’s you: Why pregnant women get a bad rap

on June 3, 2013

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. I agree with this up until around month seven, now I am pretty much over it. I know pregnancy brings on a whole slew of chemical changes in women. However, asides from “being hormonal”, there are a lot of other things that contribute to our crankiness.

1) Lack of solid sleep. I have no idea what goes in our bodies, and maybe it is hormone related. But when I am pregnant, I wake up in the middle of the night with enough energy to run a marathon. And then I lay there (on my side, not my back, another issue)… for hours. I usually have to pee, my bladder feels like its the size of a peanut (because when I don’t drink enough water, I get leg or foot cramps, another awesome middle of the night occurrence). I avoid technology, coaching myself and saying things like “OK, no TV or iPhone for an hour”. Maybe those things actually keeps me awake? I even keep my phone in the kitchen to avoid the temptation. But nothing works. And then I get frustrated, which probably keeps me up even longer. Which leads me to #2…

2) We’re tired. Mostly because we aren’t sleeping well. But there are a few other factors, like we aren’t supposed to consume a lot of caffeine. And we are supporting a living being inside of us who is literally sucking the life out of us.

3) We’re sober. “It’s fun to be the DD” said no one, ever. I do enjoy going out with our family and friends, but it is amazing how annoyingly silly everyone gets. And since I am tired by 7pm, I am completely exhausted once I can finally round everyone up to go home. It is so eye opening because usually I am in the same boat as everyone else, and to me they are all just hilarious. So usually by 11pm, I start scowling and trying to pretend to be a good sport when really my back is killing me and the close talking whiskey breath conversations are just making me want to vomit.

Baby shower aftermath

I’m supposed to fit all this stuff where?!?

4) We have A LOT of stuff to do. Preparing for the first baby(ies) is intense, you not only have to get your house ready and organized, but you have to set up an entire room for someone you don’t know the sex for, don’t really know the size of, and don’t have a clue what they really need! Yes, you’ve read the books, you’ve gotten advice from friends before you, but at the end of the day, you are clueless. Preparing for a baby the second time around is so much easier; you already have your favorite diapers, skin care items, types of outfits… and confidence! You know what baby props to setup, and where to put them. You aren’t sterilizing everything in sight (which is probably the reason second kids never get sick…), and you have a better understanding of what you’ll need and around when you’ll need it. But the first time around, you get a lot of advice like “relax while you can”. How is that possible? We have to fit an insane amount of stuff into our already cramped house.

5) We are nervous! Give us a break. Be extra kind to the next pregnant lady you see. Her world is about to change forever. Hold the door for her. Give her a little wink or smile. I’ve realized through two pregnancies that the kindest strangers are older people — their lives have slowed down enough that they love to take a minute or two to ask you how you are feeling, tell you all about their grandchildren, and offer a little piece of advice like enjoying every moment before it passes you by. It really beats the silly (but probably sound) advice you get from parents of teenagers who love to tell you how much it sucks once they get to high school.

6) We are uncomfortable. We have a nice big belly to support, our bladder and lungs and insides are squished, our center of gravity changes, our legs and feet are supporting more weight, we can’t sleep on our back, etc…

7) People say whatever they want. There is literally nothing that people won’t say to someone who is pregnant, and I have no idea why! Some of my personal favorites:

  • While I was carrying the twins: “They say if you’re having a boy you carry in front, and if you’re having a girl you carry in the back. Maybe you’re having one of each”
  • “You look so good. Beautiful. You’re not even that big, we heard you were huge” – speaks for itself.
  • “Those stripes are going the wrong way” — Mom!!!
  • “You’re getting really big” — so are you. I’m pregnant, what is your excuse?
  • “You look tired” — I am, also probably because I am pale.
  • “You look pale” — dragging two toddlers and 50 pounds of gear across burning hot sand isn’t totally appealing to me right now. Neither is a bikini.
  • “You’re having a girl, you’re nose is swollen” — said a woman who met me for the first time, and has no idea what my nose normally looks like.
  • “Rest while you can, you’ll never sleep again” — I despise this advice; pregnancy sleep stinks and it does get better after a few months post baby. So don’t let people scare you.

I do like when people say “You’re glowing”, although I usually reply with “Because I’m extremely hot right now”. Maybe I’m just hormonal :)

What is most memorable comment during your pregnancy?

 


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