twinfinite wisdom

my children are the reason i get up in the morning… and the reason i drink at night

Do you Fakebook? Are you a momplainer?

on March 27, 2013

We have all been there…a big event or vacation we’ve been looking forward to for months, which has its moments of a total “family fail”. Nothing too catastrophic happens, but the day(s) may end in frustration, exhaustion and even a few tears (not to mention the non-verbal, solely evil-eye-based communication path now occurring between you and your spouse). Staycations never looked so good.

But, for three seconds, you had both kids smiling and were able to post the perfect picture on Facebook. Mission accomplished. Now everyone knows you were there and had a good time. Done. Erin Zammett Ruddy, the author of this blog, has a term for this: Fakebooking. We are all guilty. I am definitely a fan of posting the “life is perfect” pics, but to be fair, I sometimes share the outtakes.

Take, for example, our Disney Cruise last year. It seemed like a great idea – we could avoid flying since it left out of NYC. I won’t get into the details, but to sum it up, we had a great time. And… some really trying ones. Let’s just say we can look back and laugh about them now. Two adults and two toddlers (each in their own pack-n-play) in a room the size of a shoebox, for eight nights, was interesting. (Toddler Tip: box of wine in your suitcase, legal and lovely!) The thing about Disney is that most parents are feeling exactly the way you are. So it’s only mildly embarrassing when your kid throws spaghetti (out of disgust) during the fancy “Captain’s Dinner” and it hits the table next to you. At least it landed on the tablecloth and not Grandma. We came home and immediately filed Disney under “places to visit every 10 years”, sorry Mickey. Here we are, all smiles, on Magic Kingdom’s “People Mover” (mom and dad are thrilled because there is a slight breeze onboard this contraption):

And then came the famous Disney characters. They made multiple appearances each day onboard the cruise ship, and showed up all over at Disney World and Castaway Cay. We were avoiding them like the plague, which was especially tricky during meal time when they would visit each table:

We took our first flight a few months ago to Tampa, which went better than expected. Bruce slept both there and back for almost the entire flight. Sal, different story. So I am totally guilty of posting the “look how great my kids are” picture on Facebook, when in reality it went more like this:

A few weeks ago, we went skiing for a nice long weekend. Bundling two toddlers up in snow gear is far from easy. It was obvious right from the start that Bruce wasn’t going to enjoy it because he generally refuses a hat, let alone gloves. But we squeezed his little booty into a snowsuit that was too small, shoved boots on his feet that were too big, and sent him out to take in the scenery. What’s not to love? Apparently a lot. We pulled him around in a sled that petrified him, so he dragged his ungloved hands through the snow the entire ride which resulted in hot pink little sausage fingers. But we took some pictures at least. Sal loved it! Here is pre-sleigh ride “not feelin it” (Bruce on right) and his post-sleigh ride hallway tantrum, where I let him cry it out for five minutes (so he was now frostbitten AND sweating):

Vacations are always a fun challenge, so are every day outings. Just this week, we were all out gallivanting as a family and I made my typical move of getting the kids back in the car by bribing them with a movie. Which was then met with “Me no likey Nemo” (such a lie!), then me saying “You know what? Me no likey you”. Instead of my husband yelling at me for stooping to a two-year-old’s level, he goes “Shhhh don’t say that too loud, people are right behind us”. We didn’t take any pictures, so there is no proof it ever even happened.

But you don’t want to be the opposite of a Fakebooker: the mom that is always complaining. The author calls that type a momplainer. It’s perfectly normal to occasionally bitch and moan about how terrible your day was over a nice glass of Cabernet, but to hear about it daily is a little much. Having kids are a choice we made; they’re a lot of work, but totally worth it. Venting is healthy, but if your conversations are strictly based on complaining about your kid’s terrible sleep habits, that just gets annoying. It’s also why we have husbands – they do a great job of pretending to listen, so use them!

Life with kids is all rainbows and butterflies. And then they wake up from their nap.

Here is the article: Fakebooking: Why I Didn’t Post This Photo to Facebook (

Merry Christmas!

What you didn’t get in the mail last Christmas (2011)

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